In honor of St. Valentine's Day we are BREAKING UP.
We're doing it in a public place, so you don't freak out. And we're handing out CONVERSATION HEARTS to soften the blow.
Please converge upon the Warehouse Theater on Monday February 12 at 7:30PM whereupon, the F.W. THOMAS PERFORMANCES will play host to THE WORLD'S FIRST-EVER BREAKUP SLAM.
And we're asking for your help.
In addition to our ALL-STAR lineup of presenters, we're opening the podium up to that most dreaded of all show-biz tropes: AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION.
To wit: We are looking for BREAKUP STORIES, EMBARRASSING LOVE LETTERS (THOSE RECEIVED and THOSE WRITTEN AND MERCIFULLY UNSENT) and OTHER ASSORTED TALES of ROMANTIC WOE. Possbily including:
- Transcripts of Instant Messenger dumpings
- Excerpts from restraining orders taken out by celebrity crushes and delivered via process server
- Primary school Valentine's cards woefully misinterpreted by you
The audience participation portion of the evening will be modeled after a poetry slam. As is the case in a poetry slam, performers will be expected to be dynamic and brief.
Unlike a poetry slam, you will be expected to be funny and interesting.
If you want to participate but require convincing, please reply to this e-mail. I will send you a soothing personal message to tell you that everything is happening for the best, and we will surely remain friends. The kind of friends who never speak, intermittently stalk each other online and have awkward run-ins at group house parties.
Please also thrill to the contributions of:
- F.W. Thomas artist-in-residence Mike Lowery, presenting sad but beautiful excerpts from his cartoon diary
- Violinist Gino Madrid providing (we hope) musical accompaniment to your stories
- Fiction writer Matthew Summers-Sparks with a story of a breakup so gut-wrenchingly hilarious that we can only hope it isn't based on fact
- As always, your host and lifelong spammer Adam Mazmanian, presenting a 10-year-old love story that still feels as fresh as an incriminating schmear of trace evidence
Read about the F.W. Thomas Performances in the Washington Post
If you care to attend, perhaps signal your intentions on Upcoming.org
Please feel free to pass this notice along to any of your friends whom you think would be similarly provoked, or to post it word-for-word on your blog.